Daniel Goleman în dialog cu Dalai Lama

Daniel Goleman vorbește cu Dalai Lama despre un mod alternativ de viață, în 19 septembrie

DG: You listen to BBC, how do you keep yourself from getting depressed?

HHDL: Man’s problems… I am sometimes finding they also create problems – these problems are are own creation. We created them, we have the ability to reduce these problems. Climate changes is normal – the plane changes its position. There are natural changes, also climate. May problems we have the possibility to reduce or eliminate.

If men are getting bullied, we have to owrk hard. With courage, with self-confidence. One of my criticas since many years is about the reports of murder, sex abuse, scandals. These news show. Millions of children get the benefit of compassion and it is not on the news. Killing or bullying become news. Mia people should make presentations more balance.

People, especially children, watch TV and they see continuously negative things, which leads to violence. Computer games are violent. I think parents should be careful. Parents, spend more time with your children.  After one month of the baby’s life, substances in mother’s milk change. If you feed the child with ordinary milk, it is not enough. Providing maximum affection can seed –  a compassion seed comes from the mother.

DG: If we are innately compassionate, why is there so little compassion? What can we do? How can we teach these children how can they be compassionate to perpetrators of evil?

HHDL: Compassion has different levels:

1. is the physical efect. This is very limited, an attitude oriented towards others. It is biased and mixed with attachment. If this is the seed, how useful is that attitude? The biasaed compassion can develop a sense of concern to your even more unbiased compassion. So, first practice detachment.
2. When we confess we did somthing wrong, you make a distinction between your action and yourself. Someone criticizes you? It is the same human being, deserves the same love. Take counter measures without losing compassion. It is very important to have a hygiene of emotion: you need more knowledge about mind and emotion. Discover the map of mind and emotion, then you have the ability to counter destructive emotions.
3. When we are full of knowledge, we can easier try these things. combine religion with the science of mind, so we can include psychology as part of secular education.

G: Dirty politics, dirty business, dirty science…

HHDL: all these activites need motivation – the self-motivation makes dirty science. When motivation is sincere, we have good politics. Cheating  is dirty politics. In science, the mind should be open, unbiased. Desire makes it biased and this is not a true scientist.

It is not only physical, but also subtle energy that affects the brain – we must accept meditation and its effect on the brain.

DG: If you see science can accept that the brain is not the cause of all the things, can you generalize that things changed over the last century?

HHDL: My motivation consists in two things: science as knowledge is increasing. If scientifica research remains at the physical level, it is limited. Science must include the invisible phenomena. Knowledge about mind and consciousness just on the basis of investigating the brain is not clear. Mental consciousness has different levels and they shoud be studied.

Destructive emotions, very harmful, we have already described.

DG: The future is in the hands of the XXIst century people. How can we be optimistic, what can an individual do to move to a positive direction?

HHDL: build a healthy humanity – we have this responsibility. Individual future depends on humanity. Europe’s future is very much linked to Middle East, Africa, South America. Economy is very connected, bu tmentally we still workhip guns and weapons.

Between reality and our perception there is a huge gap. Our common interest is more important than the individual interest. Educate people into the oneness of humanity. One to ten, ten to one hundred, one hundred to one thousand, one thousand to ten thousand. Changing the humanity starts from the individual. Change cannot happen by goernments. Start at your level. Changing the world can start with changing you, the individual. We all have the responsibility to build a happy humanity

DG: What would you say to someone who thinks happiness comes from things they buy?

HHDL: I know chancellors of different universities. Their salary is very high. They are very educate, very famous, but personally they sound very unhappy. Money cannot bring inner peace Fame cannot bring inner peace. Education cannot bring inner peace. We consider that the sensory level is very important, without relying on sensory, something at the mental level (faith is mental level).

Many years ago, in Barcelona, I met a Calvin monk. He had spent five years on a mountain. I asked what did he practice. He said thinking or meditating on love. He lived a content, very simple life. He had no click. No family. In a remote area, but getting peace> this is the indication that mental path, properly used, makes sensorial experience not that important anymore. Children do not care about material values. With a smile and love you make them very happy. We have to tackle the basic values at young age> education must nurture these values, and then the human being will be more complete. Think for 10-15 minutes about inner values, and then you will be happier. You are your own master. I am not your master. Think seriously: each day is a birthday. In the morning, when you wake up, it is your birthday. Make it meaningful, or at least harm not.

Compassion as foundation of well-being

Notes from the Dalai Lama – Daniel Goleman speech on September 19, 2015, at the O2 Arena in London

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

indeed I am very, very happy to be here, with you, with the intention to share some of my own thoughts and concerns, and also learn some new things: sometimes, very unexpected questions come, and it is an opportunity to think. I am nothing special. Mentally, emotionally, physically we are the same.

Problems with emotions? Me too. Everyone is in the conjuncture to face these emotional things. The brain and heart – everyone has there the seed of infinite love and infinite compassion. Some scientists made some investigation to very young child, 2-3 months old, language is not developed. Young children play together affectionately, smiling, showing happiness. Then they develop a negative attitude showing unhappy: human being is exposed to constant fear, anger, hatred. Then, more compassion we need – more strength. Mysical health gets much better.

When you look at your neighbor and he is reach, the family members show the same sort of distrust or suspicion, showing the family was always same. Failing to be in friendship. Your neighbor, materially poor, shows love and trust – he is much better. If you noticed that, think more. If not, then do spy on your neighbor, think, investigate, use common sense  and that clearly indicates that warm heartedness is an immense benefit.

How to build friendship? Trust appears when you show sincere affection. Even animals feel it, when you show genuine affection,whether they appreciate it or not. I do not know. Maybe you show affectionl, because we are social animals. Same spirit, same position. I also have some problems, some difficulties, but I can solve them without disturbance in the inner mind.  If we received the same affection from our mother, the seed is in our mind and then we can show others affection when they have a sense of insecurity, suspicion, fear

I am 80 years old, I am  the generation of a century ago, the XXth, and you are the generation of the XXIst century. In the XXth century, we created a lot of problems for this planet. Killing human beings is unbelievable, especially for religious reason. We believe force and violence can bring vitory. Many XXth century wrong views, wrong concepts, and neglect [led to] unhealthy problems, symptoms of past mistakes. This generation of the XXIst century – you – have not solved these things :). Killing, bullying, sacrificing> we should expand more.  The point is the generation of the XXIst century: past is past, we cannot change. We could change iether the memory, sor some of the effect of the past. Future is not yet reached. Change the future in the present if we act now tirelessly for a better and happier future.

I discussed with scientists. If we think on human level, we are human beings. I want happy life, they want happy life. Several levels, different countries, race, colors, faith. There are divisions between rich and poor, educated and non-educated. Too much emphasis on the differences. If we go deeper, we are the same. With the young generation, there is really hope. Make effort with a vision and a proper plan. This century can be more compassionate.

All religious traditions carry a message of love, contentment, forgiveness. All have the same potential to bring inner peace. Sunnis and Shiites have the same prayer, but they are divided. Some Buddhists are also harming Muslim community. Even religious people! Love and forgiveness are just lip service, not wholeheartedly.

We are seven billions, and 1 billions non-believers. Educate inner value, not religion, based on findings and experience.  The education system is oriented to exterior values, not interior values. This is the complication. India is multi-religious, on a secular basis. They respect all religions and non believers. Charvaka philosophy [http://www.britannica.com/topic/Charvaka] is criticized, but rishis respect it. The way to educate the  warmheartedness is secular. All traditions are based on secular ethics. New time comes: how to introduce education according to secular traditions? If you think seriously, then educate the younger generation, then later part of the XXIst century can be peaceful and more compassionate. If we try our best, we might fail ,but have no regrets.

Compassion leads to healthy society.  There is a higiene of wisdom, combined with the hygiene of emotion, which is very important. We put too much stress on religions, then on cosmetics. Those are very important, but most important is inner beauty. Pay more attention to inner beauty. In Nalanda, they spend 20-30 years in study and they are skeptical. Is this the real essence? Is there contradiction? The more difficult the questions, we need inner help to find ansewes.

I the last 4 centuries of history, in central Tibet, same people, including myself, between 1951 and 1970, had the same serious problem. Then I gradually found the problem. I filtered, irrespective it could be harmful. It is religious freedom. Until then I worshipped this religion of the yellow hat sect and had no freedom. Only after I stopped this practice I followed all teachings of Nyigma and Kagyu. It is harmful. It is my duty to make it clear [worshipping issue], whether people listen or not.